I've been reading this book Captivating. given by Yuwan as my 21st birthday present, it is a hard-cover keepsake edition which looks rlly rlly cool^^...

(p/s: i love reading, books are amazing gifts! hint hint!!!!)

lately i've been adressed as woman, and i talked to myself, "how am i a woman? no way i am a woman yet, i am still a lady"... "what is the different between a woman and a lady?" so i bring this particular question to Fenny, and she said "well, i think i am a woman, woman is independant, able to make her own decision after having good discernment" ... an answer i never thought of, cuz i never think myself as a woman yet.. it never came across my mind that prol i will become a woman soon(sounds SO old).. cuz to be honest, i feel i am still a young lady (which i am pretty sure I AM).....

but anyway, i randomly decided to pick up this book and start reading..

it is not the book with 101 steps to become women, not a book filled with 10 commandments of becoming feminine.. not even a book condemning how we have been living and doing wrongly as little girl and woman..

this books brings about the journey to re-discover the true heart of woman since the 1st day of creation, aheart that we every woman is born with.. how a woman's heart longs to be romanced, to play in irreplaceable role in a great adventure and the heart to unveil its beauty..
in the first chapter, author Stasi relates to God's heart the same way that longed to be sought after, God's heart for relationship, what does Eve spoke to us, the "ezer kenegdo" of Adam,woman as the crown of creation...

it was all worth reading, and towards the end of second chapter "haunted by a question", the last paragraph had me paused and wondered....

The stories of these women and the wounds they received as little girls are all different, but the effects of their wounds and the effects of ours are painfully similar. Some of these stories are extreme. The feeling of uncertainty and worthlessness that they breed are not. What was your childhood like? What lessons did you learn as a little girl? What did your parents want from you? Were you delighted in? Did you know to the core of you being that you were loved, special, worth protecting and wanted? I pray so. But i know that for many of you, the childhood you were meant to have, the childhood you wanted to have, is a far cry for the childhood you did have.

i didnt know that..! well, i know i am loved by God.. but to be in detail, i didn't know that in my core, i am loved, special, worth protecting and wanted... and i feel this is wierd, what Stasi proposed here in this book is alien to me.. i grew up independant of ppl's help (other than my family members), independant of expression mentioned above...

I cant wait to read the next chapter "The message of our wounds and how they shaped us" ^^