The other day when i was at the front door getting ready to go out, i look for my shoes from the shoe racks.... Wierd enough, that day, the sight of some of the shoes strucked me.. i mean, the shoes and heels that have been always there all the while, but that particular day, i realize.. some of the heels (that belongs to my housemates) was something i would call as "mature-people's-shoes"... and than i started thinking again...

I turn 21 few weeks ago.. TWENTY-ONE... not nineteen, not twenty... but TWENTY ONE... it's quite a big thing, if u get what i mean.. when Jessica said i'm eligible to vote or to go to Genting casino, i was laughin away.. but then what she said was quite true.. realistically there are things that i am eligible to do.. and eligible to WEAR..

there are so so so many YOUNGER GALS around here that dress MUCH OLDER than me (and my Intec pharmacy gals)... if u didnt ask them, you wouldnt guess that they are actually only 18 years old, when they look like 23 years old........................................

mmm... but i am TWENTY ONE already... i am stepping into adulthood.. how do i feel different from being 19 and 20...? not much difference really.. i still loves my family, treasure my friends, i am still studying.. what makes 21 so different from 19 or 20...?

i remember last year, i sms-ed a friend of mine, saying being a year older... means having more responsibilities, more able to make decisions and comprehend and discern.. more able to care for others and less for self.. more able to fathom the pains and hurts.. more able to be grateful for joy and laughters, really.. more difficulties and challenges to come.. more things to do and dreams to fulfill.. more of everything..

life doesnt just turn beautiful suddenly, when we turn 21.. life is pretty much the same.. but if i am still at where i was two or three years ago- dreaming bout true love, acting childishly, couldnt care less about other people, and afraid to shoulder responsibilities.. then i am really still 19years old..

i can get quite emotional thinking of my life.. there are so so so many things that happen in a year, what more twenty one years of life.......!!!! if i am to type, i will be very confused, dunno where to start, what to emphasize on, and where to stop.. things that happen in our lives are inter-connected, dont u think so..??? no event stands on its on.. one leads to another and one affects the other... my gosh... i am confusing myself now.. stop...

what's next..??

do what i should do for today, in the mean time, work to achieve my resolution for this year and look out for more oppurtunities to serve God ^^..

my life have been very ugly... and very beautiful too.... it is not a one-day-thing.. but it took 21years to draw out a life like mine...

beautiful life...