W - A - R

I DECLARE WAR.............!

I DECLARE WAR.....!!


I DECLARE WAR........!!!

hiak hiak hiak hiak...!!!!


Like LinFoong, this shall be my "lagu perang"...!
Get up and fight! i wont just sit down and let you bring me down...!!

Testimony

I am back from Passion-Ignite church camp.

I didnt know where to start. But from my post Untold Stories, that probably showed that i was spiritually malnourished, i was not joyful within. I felt like i was walking in wilderness. For few seconds of life, i felt life isn't that very fair to me. I lost touch of God. I love my family. I couldn't share with family because they have more than enough burdens to worry about. I couldn't share with my sis because she is already sharing a big portion of family burden. It breaks my heart when i think of my family. Though my frens are around, none that i can or i choosed to share with. Though there are people around me, i actually felt i'm alone. This battle is mine.

Little that i know, God has actually started to prepare my heart for the camp. Tracking down my posts, i realized God's plan is so wonderfully drafted and carried out. Few days ago, I learnt that "He is right". No matter what happen or how unfair life may seem to me, HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. It is impossible for God to be wrong. This lesson humbled myself to acknowledge His authority over me. He is my Master.

I was reluctant to come to camp, because i was not joyful within. I guess i wouldn't be able to enjoy felowship as much as the rest of the people. Everyone elses is happy but i am not. And when they laugh and i couldnt, then i gotta somehow smile a little and tat might even distort the whole cheerful atmosphere. It just felt hard to be in a fellowship.
But on sunday, just the day before the camp, God touched me through the song "Indescribable". My tears just flowed down as i sang this verse - Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.You are amazing God, You are amazing God.
I mean, we can know a lot of God's character that He loves me, He cares for me, He has plan to prosper me and not to harm me, He is this and He is that. they are all knowledge of God.
But for one moment, the moment when God touched my heart, it alone makes all the difference, the experience of God itselft speaks louder than any promises told. I sense Joy again in my life. That was Sunday. Then i was more reasured that i should go to camp. I made the payment for camp.

I thank God, God is starting to do something in me.

I went to camp, and i can't believe myself that i was actually able to have fellowship with people in camp. I was able to smile and enjoy myself during the first day. On the second day (which was yesterday night), guest speaker Ps.Josh Moyo was speaking. He was talking about "Do not miss the moment". I knew, i missed a lot of experiences and blessings because of the situation that i am dwelling in. I do not want to miss out anymore moment. I want to be in the moment itself.
Another sentence that struck me was " to appreciate my past". though in my case, it is not yet a past, i should appreciate my current situation. I always thank God for loving me. But now, i want to thank God for the situation that He is putting me into, because it is meant for bigger things in the future. I appreciate my life.

I was also being reasured that God's work in me is not yet finished. His work in me did not stop when i was burdened with tough times. Neither did His work stop at the camp. He is always at work in me and i know His works are good.

During the session, i cried because i was broken inside. I was waiting for the "phone call" from God. Then my cellgroup leader,Fenny, prayed for me. She told me that she sensed God deliberately took aways all my sources away from me so that i can really cling to Him alone.
It then strucked me that when i stil have people around me to share things with, then i shared less of my life with God. But now when all sources are withdrawn from me, God wants me to learn to share 100% of my life with Him. His desire is all of me and not part of me. God's phone call has finally rang.

I am really glad Fenny made it to the camp yesterday night. I really appreciate her being there to comfort and support me in prayer.

The time for MegaPraise came. I walked in with teary red eyes. I stood at the back of hall yet my heart wanted so much to touch God once again. I longed to be refreshed and restored in Him.
It has been months since i last jump to praise God, as if heavy stones were tied to my feet that i just did not have enough strength to be excited for God, i was kept captive.
But through the MegaPraise session, God miraculously set me free. From the very first song to the very last song, i jumped and danced all the way through. It was so easy for me to jump, as if effortless. Instead of stones being tied to my feet, i felt my feet are like spring, it was all purely delight. I raised my hands straight up but as if my hands aren't long enough, i wish it could be much more longer i wanted to touch heaven. I knew for sure, it wasn't only a physical breakthrough. God has lifted my burdens. He has carried them for me that very night i seek Him desperately in prayer and tears.

This camp has come to an end. But to me, it is just the start of God's work in me. I know the situation that i am in now will not resolve anytime soon, but i know He has restored my joy and my strength, He is with me and He is always sharing my life with me. When everything else in the world fail, He will remain faithful and merciful.

Praise God for He has done good things in me.
I love You, Lord.

Signing off,
Cheah Yen

^^

Today..

i have found...

the JOY of loving God once again..

Have patient...

He will give me strength to trust..

^^ and i am so JOYFUL now ^^

because i have an amazing God..

He is amazing and He is to be praised for who He is!

It doesnt requires acedemic arguments or human sensible senses to know Him.
It doesnt requires me to be the best or faultless to touch Him.
All it requires is my desperation and simple trust.
In his beautiful time, He has touch my heart and fill me with Indescribable presence of His.
Then i know.. He has spoken. The Almighty Ever Amazing God has spoken to me.
He made known His omnipresence and His power.
He who has won my past wars for me, will do the same again for me, today and days after.

signing off,
daughter of His,
Cheah Yen
He is cheering me to go on!!

Seaweed and friend

Seaweed's friend sidled up to Seaweed from behind.
"Seaweed!" she whispered.
"Yes, friend?"
"Nothing," said Seaweed's friend, taking Seaweed's paw. "I just wanted to say Sorry and be sure of you."

Laboratory Pictures

my initial... those white dots arent white dots.. they are ASPIRIN TABLETS...!!!! =>


SMILE ya...

still smile no matter what.. => got there are many reasons to be thankful =>....

Colourful... wish we had made it rainbow coloured... heeheehee...

i forgot what are those solutions in conical flasks.... hahahaha... i dun particularly remember anything from Chem Lab, other than .... many many many RE-CYSTALIZATION... no we din make cystal... hahahaha.. we just re-cystalize... check the meaning in google la k.. lazy to explain here.. hahaha..!!!

Tuan tuan and puan puan sekalian =>.... hihihihihihi.... guess what does this pic means..? haha..

OK, these are not mine... they belonged to Cristabel.. i was not Sample Donor... i was only Data Recorder.. heeeheeeheeeh........................... samples of urine..

So, they were my lab partners for that urine lab.. hihihihih ...
OK, so that's it..

........

.............

.................

What comes after this is taken this year, to be exact, yesterday..!! when i had my MicroBiology lab... => and i'm stil very excited about the lab.. although i might not score well in MicroBio test, but i am proud cuz my SOIL AGAR PLATE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL...!!!

SEE...!!! isn't it so so so pretty...?? colourful...!! => all sorts of colour...!!
but come to think of it, each different colony represent different bacterias found living in the soil... EEEeeewwwwWWW...................

dun wanna sit on soil ady...

Closer look.. =>

aren't they lovely (dangerous horrible bacterias actually >.<''')... the supervisor was so so so nice when i asked him if i can take pic of the agar plate. then he said "oh sure, i think there's the lighting , the spot on that kind, lemme check for u if it's available, it's really bright so u can take pic there alright =>..."...!! LOVE U ,tutor...!!!! he's so so so kind...!! so here's the lovely pic..

i feel it's like MANY MANY SMALL COLOURFUL PLANETS CLUSTERING TOGETHER IN A GALAXY... too bad not universe.. universe so so vast... => and we're like, smaller than the bacterias.. hahaha..

p/s: i check on soil agar from other benches, and only this agar plate from my bench looks so so colourful and pretty..!! like a masterpiece of art..!!!! so HAPPIE.......!!!!!!!!!

Ok.. so this is pink Gram negative bacteria... cultured from my ear/nose/throat/hair.. one of them.. hahahaha.... why i say it's Gram-negative? u can google the answer alright =>...

i know those pics look to good to be real, but they are...!!! taken with 5Mega Pixel Phone camera from Jaka, who sits beside me during Lab...!!! they are real, and they are mine...!!!

And this rod-shape Gram positive bacteria is cultured from the dust collected in lab a week ago.. so so so cute... but EEEEeeeeewwwwWWWW.... hahahahah..

MICROBIOLOGY LAB IS FUN....!!!!

....but He is right.

By human nature, i may think life isn't fair, but i can't and i shouldn't judge if God is fair...

i learnt that God is right all the time..

click here : God is right all the time.


Thanks Kelvin...

Untold Stories

When my housemates left the house at 8.20pm, i decided to give YuWan a call. I miss talking to her.

We both have to agree that there are things that we cant write in blog. even though i really love blog being the fact that i can express myself, yet there will always be things that i cant pen them down here.

I am feeling unhappy...

I feel life is not that fair, not that very fair since long time ago..
my childhood and teenage days was scarred with what "seem to be unending sea and roaring storm"..

but i know i have to go through it, because it's my obligation to people important to me..

Feel like my life has always have to be slightly different from my peers because of that..

Even though i do smile and laugh, but my laughter is not as loud nor as cheerful as them..

If the "seem to be unending raging sea and roaring storm" did not occur in my life, then probably i can do things that my peers are doing, and experience life like others..

I long to smile, with a pleasant smile and without burden on my shoulder.. probably that was yrs back, when i dont know about anything and was able to live life as if it was all fine...

what was posted in blog, may tell people of a cheerful and optimistic me.. but what was not written down is what only me and only God knows.. Untold stories that are shared between me and Almighty God..

Dear Daddy God, hold me in Your arms today, tomorrow and every day after. Let me run to You always and find my comfort in You alone. There is no one that i dare to turn to, other than You. Carry my burden and share my sadness. Help me to walk through this season with You. Thank You Daddy God. I know You love me, even more everyday. I love You too.

Uh Huh

UH HUH....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i know what's the name of the movie that i've always wanted to watch...!!!

i didnt know in the beginning, i only know it's about a talking elephant and a speck.... but now i've just found out the name from Sieh Jin's blog..

it's the

HORTON HEARS A WHO

...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want to watch it..!!!!

and i'm willing to pay to go cinema and watch it..!!!!

well, normally i dun go cinema cuz i think it's kinda wasting money... it's better to rent the movie or get it from someone else then watch it at the comfort of home...

but for CERTAIN movies that i really really like, i'm willing to pay to go cinema and have that superb sound system effect and that "feel" and watch it..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna watch

HORTON HEARS A WHO...!!!!!!!!

Searching

It's Saturday, the day after my mid-sem exam..Well, not yet all, but it's 3/4 through... one more mid-sem paper but that 2 weeks away.. so i'm "chilling the feeling" now... what is "chilling the feeling" anyway.. haha..

I just visited my facebook and checking my old emails at the same time.. then i came upon this email, from facebook ,but in more detail, it's a Friend Request from Florence Leung..

I first had my computer at home when i was 15.. pretty late huh.. but that's the truth.. And the computer guy fixed this ICQ thing inside so i give it a try.. and the moment i was online in ICQ, i received my first ever online friend msg from this gal called Florence Leung Man Yan.. We chatted, she was nice.. and she suggested we became penpal.. i liked the idea very much.. a penpal of my age from Hong Kong, that'll be so so fun..
We exchanged address, and i was sceptical at first because her address does not have a postcode in it.. i asked if she was cheating me, but she said no and it was a honest request from her to be penpal.. no harm sending a letter, so i gave it a try...

2 weeks later, a letter from HongKong arrived in my mailbox...!!! it was the reply letter from her...! WOW i was so so so estatic to the max..!! and inside the letter she gave me her picture, she was in her sweather with another girl friend, taken in her classroom... and i really like the indea of having a Hong Kong friend... and she seems to be a nice good girl....!!!! and i like being her penpal so much.. in one of her letter, she sent me a yellow Winnie the Pooh handkerchief...!!! i love it so so so much...!!! it was my first ever cartoon handkerchief and a pretty one too...!!! i dare not use it cuz i want it to remain pretty and clean, and i still keep it till now...!!!
we continue corresponding letter... till...

i dunno when, prol when i was preparing to sit for my SPM that we stop corresponding letter.. and that time i was no longer on ICQ, i switched to MSN and somehow i just forgotten my ICQ user name and password... and i just lost contact with her..... sobz...

well, i tried writing her another letter early this year before i flew back to Perth, but there was no reply letter from her... then i realize that she actually Request Friend with me in facebook, i dunno what went wrong that i cant accept her request nor click into her facebook profile..

but i wanna find back my penpal, Florence Leung.. we shared stories inside letters, and we exchanged gift.. we even planned to meet each other one day when we grew up ( well, initially i told her my ambition was to be an air-stewardess, so i can catch a Hong Kong flight and meet up with her during my working period... isn't it sweet...???) .... but i lost her...

and so, after remembering that she actually did add me in facebook but something just went wrong, i decided to look for her again through facebook.. there were like 96 Florence Leungs in the facebook search result, i just sent some msg to possible few.. there's limit to the amount of email i can send in there, so i just send a few... How i wish one of them could be my penpal Florence Leung...

I am looking for my long lost penpal, Florence Leung from HongKong, she's my age and she's a lovely person...!!!

If anyone of u did see her, can u guys please let me know... i miss her, she's one of my teenage's bliss..

thanks......

S P T H C L s

What i wanna do, will do, am doing, long term, short term.. ^^

s....... S............................. often

p...... P........ one day

p...... T.................. sometimes

d..... H............... everyday

m...... C............... one day

w....... L................ one day

s............ as often as possible

Rev Dr Garry Coleman

This morning i went to Sunday Service as usual. The guest speaker was Rev Dr Garry Coleman.

He gave sermon about true happiness if i didnt get him wrong. His sermon was really really really inspiring.

He said, very convictedly:

1) True happiness is found only in the quiet solitute with God, especially when everything else is falling apart.
I couldnt agree more... i have had great time fellowshipping with friends, laughters for hours, joke cracking non-stop, and etc, but in the end of the day, i stil felt something is missing. the happiness ended when the laughter ended. Then only i realized, what is everlasting, never runs out, the real inner joy that is God given is all i ever needed... found in the quiet solitute with Him.. it's just like.. we won't know what is real trust, unless we're put into situation where it is hard to trust..

2) God says " I know who you are, I have been watching you for years"
in my case, God has been watching over me for 20.5 years.. more to that, He thought of me and knew me by name, long before i was formed, long before my parents had me in mind... I think getting older means more things that we dont tell people.. i remember when i was much younger and teenage, there were none that i didnt tell anyone.. i shared everything with my best friends and elder sister.. but getting older (and wiser, kihkihkih), there are things that sometimes is better not to tell, like in certain situations where we should learn to be quiet for the benefits of other ppl and stuff, then i find it rather hard for me, cuz i still am used to tell ppl close to me about stuff.. sometimes, there are also some personal stuff that i just couldnt tell people around me, because (reasons are confidential, lol).. but even if i dont tell God, He knows... He knows when i dont know, and He knows when i dont tell... having a being like that that know WHO I AM REAL INSIDE and watches over me is just... so... loving and dear... the one and only that i can pour my heart's content to...

3) Faith is not based on feeling or fabulous music, it is about who HE is and how solid i am
Well, i didnt know this untill when i was 16yrs old. my church pastor told me faith in Christ is like a train, but the head of the train is not feeling, instead it is conviction.. and the conviction was long time ago already given in the Words, His promises.. Then only i realize, whenever i sing song but i couldnt feel His presence, but by faith, i know God is in me and THERE in the room, He is walking around the room and watching over me, waiting for me to draw near and go back to Him.. He is Omnipotent....

4) if President comes into the room, we stand up as sign of respect.. but when God comes into the room, we can only BOW DOWN in worship and adoration..
he asked us to ask ourselves, have we really met God...??? have i really met God.. ?? inspect myself...

5) i have no idea how this is going to work, i dont know how to settle this thing, but i know He is in me, because He has promised to be faithful...
this is really great comfort and assurance to me.. i mean, i knew He will be with me, but at times, we needs solid reminders either from ppl around or His words, that He is with me..

and at this time of mid-sem exam when i'm not at all well prepared for, i can only trust in Him to pull me through.. God, please gives me peace and stillness in you... that it is not the change of circumstances that will give me courage to go through this, but the change of my heart to rely and trust in You more, this will give me all i need to live...

No More

When days become tough..

Sometimes lonely and hungry...

wandering and searching...

Who is ever ready to listen to my silent struggle..?

ever ready to collect my invisible tears...?

Ever ready to take me in as refuge and give me comfort..?

You made me realize that there is none other but You..

One decision that i have made...

and there is no turning back..

the one and only decision that has no turning back..

that is when i surrender my life to You..

today i make that decision once again...

to surrender my days and everything in it unto You...

i choose to trust in You...

i know You will make a way..

No More turning back when i trust in You..