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Finally..

i surrender my external harddisc to Janica to be kept by her till after my final exam..

Hiihiihii...!!!!

No more dramas til after exam!!!!!!

I find this conversation super interesting!!!!! it's between me and my cell member!!!!!

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cheah yen says:

see see, u oso can see

hhahahaah

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

of course i can see.. i have eyes....

cheah yen says:

then see ady anot which guy in church suits me..???

waahahaahhahaha

but no la... set my heart liao dun wanna think liao, if stil think will be "fan"(troubling)!

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

u know.. i hav a perfect description for u...

cheah yen says:

oh say say

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

for u to find a bf is like playing a rubic's cube..

cheah yen says:

why le..?

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

for u to get a bf.. mean hav to get the rubic's cube rite..

cheah yen says:

woah!

means super hard..?????

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

and if we get one side correct ...

we turn to another side... then it's the wrong combination

cheah yen says:

oh means all side must be correct... ... ...

true

wah u super keng, man!!!!!!

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

so the chance of u having all the side similar colour is super hard..

cheah yen says:

woah!

@.@''' singlehood belongs to me liao lor like that!!!!!!

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

but what i think u can do is.... ask God for help... and get a guy in near or distance future

cheah yen says:

true

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

the most u can find... ( most side colour similar

and then....

the rest of the puzzle... both u and ur partner can slowly fix..

cheah yen says:

woah!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

to complete the rubic's cube..

cheah yen says:

u rlly super duper keng!!!!!!

what u said sounds great man!!!

and im gonna copy paste this whole thing to blog it!!!!

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

thank u thank u... ur welcome..

no no.. later i become famous

cheah yen says:

wahahahahahaahhaah

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

but seriously. dun put my name there hor..

cheah yen says:

i wont la, it'll just appear as "experience the name men gave to their mistakes says:"

hahahahaah

EXPERIENCE: The name men gave to their mistakes. says:

not many ppl know my nick oso..

*******************

Randomly went to beach with Chris, Johnson, Evangeline, Jaclyn, Jia Huei, Stanley, and Leo on Sunday afternoon bout 4pm. It was very windy yesterday afternoon, but i was very excited and just glad at heart. (even though i cried like a crybaby during service few hours earlier).

The rest decided to "picnic" on such a beautiful beach (that's totally SALAH), lol.. while me, Chris, Evangeline and Johnson decided to soak in the water!!!

All four of us hold hand and ran straight to hit the water and stood there to be bashed by the coming big waves, it was Fantafabulous to be hit by the waves...!!!! =>

i mean, hold hands so that no one back out at last minute as the waves are coming =>

that applies to things in life as well, in cellgroup especially. Alright, i'm gonna share bout holding hands in cellgroup this friday..!!!!

Spend like 45mins in the water. waa waaa weeee...!!! After splashing water to Chris's back, we retreat to seaside, under the pine tree, on the grass and join the rest to play a card game, pretty interesting!!!!

Not long, Jaclyn spotted the sunrays through the clouds over the seas.

It was pleasant, too bad i din bring my camera. SO i got all this pics from Johnson hihihihiih.

********************

Was just thinking.. Clouds aren't really good stuff, many times they are used as symbolism of something that is hindering people's life @ clouds over my life, it's dark, etc etc..

When we look at the sun on a clear sky, we see a very bright sun, all is well and good, clear and distinct..

When clouds come, what happened..?? it turns dark, we lost our stands and to some extend, our faith...

we fail to see the sunray, which is like extention of the sun, the "hands" of the sun...

Wait... Look at the pics...

the sun rays become even more evident through the gaps in between the clouds!

It is as if, the floor of heaven is opened and God's love, grace and mercy becomes more evident through the clouds in our lives.

God's power is manifested and people can testify through the clouds in our lives.

Lets not dwell in passiveness and discouragement, but look up and look to the sunray's in your lives, look for God's hand and him at work through the dark times in your lives. You will see, and you will see it even more clearly than before.

It is amazing. It is amazing. It is simply amazing.

Yesterday i went to BBT (bubble tea) with Sherwin, Shemuel, Shawn and David.

We had a really great time the whole day. That made my day ^^

Sherwin(6yr old) is cheeky and naughty, dont like putting seatbelt, pulls my hair in the car, but after that, he holds my hand with his tiny hands till we reach Euthopia! => lovely toddler! Love to hug him and piggy back him, but his mom forbid him to bully me, so i never piggy back him since then. HUH, yesterday afternoon in my house we're playing UNO cards. The winner gets to kiss sherwin HAHAHAH. Shawn won, but he didn't do the forfeit. Nevertheless Sherwin wanted to kiss me @.@''' ......... David said to him "must ask permission before u kiss her"... which is.. reasonable... okie...

Shemuel(13yrs old, just entered teenage stage, haha).. He's the Happy Apple.. cuz he's a happy boy, doesn't hold grudges (unlike me when i was his age), he gives in to Sherwin in most circumstances and still loves Sherwin (unlike me as well when i was his age), he finds joy in small small things in life and laugh alot alot (unlike me when i was his age).. and Apple because he's the apple of God's eyes, of his parents' eye, and of my eyes of cuz! hihiihi.. a young boy with great heart, great attitude, responsible and trustworthy.. I pray that he'll grow up as a man of God, so full with God's love and compassion, God's values and characters, and bless people around him. He's awesome!! May God continue to expand his heart ^^

Seeing how Shemuel treated Sherwin make me feel shameful of the way i treated my bro when i was Shem's age. Only much later in life i came to learn of this lesson of love. Now i see the importance of bringing up kids with God's teaching and principles. Really admire the Poh's family and the three siblings!! such a 180degree different from mine.

Shawn (15yrs old).. Aah, i remember that age, still battling with peer pressure, and still struggling in my attitude towards family (not so much towards friends though, because at that age, friends rule bigger than family)... I think at Shawn's age and with more advanced society now, he's facing bigger challenges than me back then.. Shawn is doing good, he's a good boy, loves and obey parents, spend time with his siblings even though there might be age gap between them.. It wont be long before all these precious time pass, and he'll reflect back and be grateful that he did make the choice to spend time with family to build the love and trust, and deepen their relationship as family... it also wont be long when he will enter adulthood, but it's really important for him to hold true to his faith and Godly character now.. i have faith in him, he will be a great man in the future as well, a great servant in the house of God..

They bless me by the way they live together as one family. It's good to grow up like that in a family.. I might not have grown up as such, but i've learnt to love my family and because of them, i have testimonies of God in my life. Testimonies that i can share with my cellgroup all the time. Experiences and lessons that make me grow up and bring me to truly depend on God, because only God's power and love can enable me to live victoriously despite circumstances.

BACK TO SATURDAY LAH...!! hahahahahahaha.. so after bubble tea, sent them back home while i went over to Marcus's house to help him prepare his wedding cards, ooowwwh so sweet they both, hahahaha =>

by 7.30pm, i was back in Poh's house for homecook dinner!!!! teeheehee! had dinner with Uncle Patrick as well...!!!

After dinner, we played UNO again, this time we modify the rule and it became Heart Attack and Speed. Seriously simple games but we had such a tremendously great time cuz Shem kept on laughing non-stop, as if he had overdose of laughter gas prior to that. and Sherwin who wants to play in all games but lost in all games cuz he's slow and he's only 6yrs old ler, how to competer with a 13yr old, a 15yr old and a 22yr old..??? hahahahahaha, so funny to the max!!!!

by 10pm David came as well after his friend's bday dinner. Aunty Ammie applied some lotion to his palm cuz he burnt his palm at his fren's bday dinner while helping with taking out the roast dish from the oven.

He joined in the card games and we continued laughing, wakakakakaka!!! super funny!!!!

by 11pm, Aunty Ammie appeared in the living room, ushering the kids to bed. We bid farewell, and left. the kids kept on saying "come again tomorrow okie".. "see you tomorrow" "see you tomorrow" "see you tomorrow".. tsk tsk tsk, miss them so much now.

Aunty Ammie so sweet la, she returned me my baking tray, and put two long buns in them for me, and some Subway cookies for me and David =>... hihihi.

I reached home 11pm. That pretty much summarized my happy day =>

Yeefang and Trecia came to overnight on 30th September, 3 of us were in my room. We chatted till 4am!!

hahahaha, it was so funny esp Yeefang who kept interrupting my story telling time, and Pokok-pokok who kept on correcting us on RT1 or TR1 and Wood or Black!!! Laughed and chatted and ... took some pics of cuz!!! =>

In the end, i slept with Trecia on the bed, while Yeefang with her sleeping bag beside us!!

Love u both so so so much!!!

hugs and kisses!!!!

On Thursday the 1st of October, i went to beach with Shawn ,Shemuel and Sherwin!

It was so much fun, though tiring at the same time!

We walked, took bus, walked again, took train, ran in and out and in again to the train (how silly is that!!!! only us did that, bet the other passengers in the train was thinking that we're siao lang!) hahahaha.

then we walked , and finally the beach!!!

awesome busome!

Imagine catching up physically with 2 teenagers and 1 toddlers! I'm already 22 @.@''' can feel the old-ness is getting on me! hahahahaha..

But we had so much fun collecting seashells!!!

Bubble tea next saturday okie! =>

Watched this movie on Tuesday night with Jaclyn, then decided to watch this together with my cellies in cellgroup.

And we did! the entire cell watched it yesterday night.

I could have cried, but i didn't because i know Junior they all would be watching out for my emo tears. =P

But yea, as i watched it for the second time, i took notes and realized how much can we learn from this video in relation to the 40days of love series going on in church now.

Catherine after fighting with her husband, Caleb, decided to put her ring into the drawer. That was what C.S.Lewis was saying when he wrote "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broke. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, no even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetratable, irredeemable"

Caleb did the act of kindness even when he didn't feel a thing at all towards his wife, Catherine. In the beginning, Caleb did the 40days of love dare for his father's sake. towards the end, when he come to learn what is love, he wanted to continue doing the 40days of love dare to really salvage his marriage. He went further by doing more than 40days, he did til 43 days!

In the same way, why not do the 40days of love because church ask us to do so, but along the way pray that we will see what is love, what is has to say of God's character, standard and value, and in the end, we will be changed and we want to do the 40days of love more!

Caleb's dad said that Caleb did it just enough to get by. Means he did just what is needed to pass. he did not put his heart into it, he is just merely fullfilling the motion rather than emotion. Likewise, we who have been christian for long has become comfortable to everyday life that we just do what's sufficient to get by as christian.

Then, in the movie, Caleb's friend, Micheal say "if you're in, you have to be all in, you can't be half in and say you're in".. So therefore, when we're in, we are all in, we dont do just enough but we do better. If my heart is not in, God knows. If we do just enough to pass, He knows. we need to repent and to be renewed.

in the end of the movie, Caleb said to Catherine "for the past 7 years, i've trampled on you with my words and actions. I have loved other things more than i love you."

Change the character and put it as me saying to God "for the past 22years, i've trampled on You with my words,actions and thoughts. I have loved other things on the world more than i love You."

That's some of the things i've written down. =>

Even though Fireproof is about marriage between man and woman, but it's also a reflection of our marriage to God when we commit our lives to Him. It has definitely brought the entire cellgroup a huge amount of reminders and lessons.

Before we ended the cell, we also watched this two video clips from youtube!

Random random!!! hihihih

"tap Dap Tap dap tap Dap Tap dap Tap Dap tap Dap"

It's the sound of raindrops falling on our house's roof!! I always love rain =)

Feeling good right now =)

See the cute blue pants im wearing in the pic above..???

wakakakakakaa, paiseh, wearing Trecia's pyjamas pants, cuz she said we're wearing pyjamas to surprise Erwin on his midnight-surprise-event.. i was out of the house already when i got her msg, and i wasn't in sleeping attire.. SO, i changed into her pyjamas pants when i arrived at her house.

and it is so super duper comfy! really soft and light!

I've never had a proper cotton pyjamas before, and never knew it can be so comfy!

Gonna sleep really tight tonight!!

Day 6, here it comes!

Love everyone as your neighbour

........................................................

We limit our love because of our differences.

Who is our neighbour? With the samaritan story on Luke 10:25-37 made it clear that there are no limits to our love.

On top of that, love your enemies and pray for those who persecuted you, Matthew 5:43-44.

When Jesus says neighbour, he meant everyone!

God's love is an "everyone/everywhere/all the time" kind of love;

human love is a "some people/some places/some of the time" kind of love.

God, that is so hard.. everyone/everywhere/all the time, even when hurts or disappointment is implicated....??

So he challenges us to love in a way we can only accomplish through daily dependence on his power.

Have i seek His power and love today to love everyone/everywhere/all the time? Have u?

We limit our love because of our fear

It's a risk to love. It's a genuine risk for that Samaritan to stop and help.

C.S.Lewis made this profound observation "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broke. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, no even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetratable, irredeemable."

You may have experienced deep hurt because you made the choice to love. It would be natural to tell yourself, "I'm not going to open myself up to that kind of pain again."

Who wants to be wounded?

But C.S.Lewis statement reminds us that there is even deeper hurt to be found in not loving than in taking the risk of love.

Take the risk to love!

Take the risk, and begin again to love someone whom you've stopped loving or have refused to love.

Love is the greatest risk you'll ever take. There are people who will skydive off Yosemite Valley's El Captain, yet they are afraid to take the risk to love. I know CEOs who wouldn't flinch from a billion dollar deal, yet they are terrified to love. It's a risk to love, but it is the one risk worth taking more than any other.

Keep this in mind: the one relationship you can truly count on is your relationship to Christ Jesus.

Lean on your relationship to Him as you take the risk to love others.

Others may disappoint you- but Jesus will never fail you.

..................................................................................

There's no need for me to write any further. This excerpt from book alone is more than enough to tell the world what it is with loving people.

But i know i don't love everyone/everywhere/all the time... It's hard, it's tough, because i am selfish, i am fearful, i have anger, i am hurt..

That brought up the question, do i try to love with human's selfish love.. or i forgot to depend on God to accomplish love?

I'm supposed to do i-lecture.

But i don't seem to be doing it at the moment.

Today in chapter 5 of the "40days of Love" book, i read about Loving God with all your mind and strength.

With all your mind

Philippians 4:8

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such thing.

God hold us responsible for what we think. I can make choices about what i think that literally change the direction of my life.

Whatever is true? Meditate on God's truth.

Whatever is noble? Appreciate God's worth.

Whatever is right? Cooperate with God's plan.

Whatever is pure? Appropriate God's cleansing.

Whatever is lovely? Anticipate God's abundance.

To think about whatever is lovely is to let God entertain you. This may sound strange, because entertainment means sporting events, movies, television, plays and concerts. But couldn't the greatness, the abundance, the gifts of God entertain you in a different way- in fact, in a much greater way? - the sense of deeply enjoying something. Whatever you're doing- whether with your family or on vacation or at work- enjoy the abundance and the goodness of God. When looking at a blue sky or at the clouds drifting across, take a moment to be entertained by the creativity of God. Enjoy who he really is.

Whatever is admirable? Communicate God's encouragement.

If you're going to love God with your thoughts, you have to love the people he made in the same way. It's all to easy to see the faults in others. Loving God with all your mind involves looking for what's best in others and telling them, " i see something of God's character in you."

If anything is excellent, be motivated by God's greatness.

If anything is praiseworthy, celebrate God's goodness.

.........

With all your strength

To love God with all your strength, there are 3 truths you must embrace.

1. you must have complete confidence that God can do absolutely anything. John 14:12

2. you must be completely convinced that you can do absolutely nothing of ultimate and eternal significance without the power of Jesus Christ. John 15:5

3. you must trust God to turn your weakness into his strength. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

There is a difference between an honest admission of weakness and self-focused feeling of inadequacy. The chaos in my family taught me at an early age that there were things I wanted to change but had no power to do so. That experience, along with my personality and perspective, has made it all too easy to go down the road of focusing on my own inadequacy. It's a lot easier for me to see what i think God couldn't do through my life than to see what he surely can do.

I'm learning to make choice to accept my feelings of inadequacy as a weakness and to lean on God's strength.

Pray something like this, "Father you know how I'm feeling about myself right now. I'm tired of pretending i'm strong, so i ask you to use me in my weakness. I trust in your truth: when i am weak, you are strong. Amen."

.......................................................................

what's written by Tom Halladay in this book couldn't be more true to me. This year i've unknowingly stop myself to be entertained by God, i stop gazing into the night sky and praise God for such a beautiful bed of stars. i stop looking at flowers along the way as i walk to school and thank Him for that day. i stop looking around me to see that God is such a breath-taking God.

This week is study week break, i made a decision to go to beach, somewhere i can just sit and gaze and be amazed once again, and let praises springs forth from my heart again.

And i learn that i can make choices about how or what i think that literally will change the direction of my life.

As learning to love God with all my strength, it is true, that me coming from a broken family background, knew that there were things i wanted to change, but had no power to do so. Somehow the experiences as i grow up made me a much self-reliant person, who wants to work things out independently, refusing and shutting myself of other people's help, and when cant, decide to not have it at all.

God healed my heart and my brokenness, yet i am to fully change my old ways of living, not to be self-reliant in some situations in life.. but to really depend on Him, and sometimes to be humble enough to accept grace from people around me.

The journey of 40days of love has just begun, but day after day, it has "renovation day" for me, for my heart, my thoughts, actions, decisions and life.

Indeed, the lesson of love is a lifelong learning process, to learn to love like He does.